Let me tell you 'bout my best friend (GBE reincarnated #2--Topic: 'Time')

 Good morning, my beautiful beloved sunflower.

Every morning, for over ten years, I would get this text message.

Good morning, my super awesome BFF would be my reply.

Ours was an unlikely friendship. We met at work sometime around 2010. Depending on the day, he could be dressed like a hippie, a biker, or a cowboy.  I always knew when he was in a good mood because he'd be in tie dye from head to toe. He loved old cars, old movies, old music. He LOVED Dave Matthews Band and watching old episodes of "Dukes of Hazzard" on VHS. 

I do not like any of these things.

We didn't always see eye-to-eye and, on paper, it shouldn't have worked but, we quickly became the best of friends.

Aside from my husband, this man was my biggest champion. He always had words of encouragement or a verbal kick in the ass if I needed it. 

He brought flowers to my nursing school graduation....stood for hours in the pouring rain trying to fix my car.... was willing to let all six of us come live with him when we were struggling (it didn't end up happening--but he was going to let us and that is A LOT for anyone to put up with!). Late night coffees on the back deck at work....hour long phone calls during our commutes when I finally branched out and started my nursing career....the time he saved a coffee tin for Bear because he knew Bear was obsessed with it and I didn't want to spend money for coffee I didn't want. So many memories--big and small--that made up the time we had together. 

When Mathias got sick, he was the first person I told outside of the family and EVERY DAMN DAY he sent me a text message asking how he was doing. That cannot be said of one member of our extended families.

Even when Mathias was in remission and things were more normal for us, he checked in on Mathias' health every day--complete with a 'Native American healing prayer' which, if you knew him, was exactly what you would expect.

I'm back in the hospital, Stephy. 

We chatted briefly about it. Some days we had big conversations. Some days we just checked in with each other.

How are you feeling today? I asked. Better than yesterday, he replied.

When I hadn't heard from him in a few days, I asked around to some of our mutual friends. No one else had heard from him either.

Then I did something that sounds incredibly morbid. I checked the obituaries. 

I couldn't believe the obituary. It must be someone else. Common name and all that. 

I checked Facebook. 

There was an outpouring of posts from grieving friends and family, and I was smacked with the reality that my best friend was gone.

It's hard to believe that it has been almost a year already.

Time passes so quickly as we get older.

I know it was his time to go. This isn't my first death--hell, it's not even my first "best friend" to die. It still doesn't make it any less fucking sad--even almost a year later. 

I miss you Philip Brown--my super awesome BFF.