Tacos...but no toast

 Hey Stephy. It's September of 1989. School will be starting soon, and you'll be turning 14 in a couple of weeks. How do I know this? Because I'm you. Only I'm a few weeks from my 48th birthday. I know, I know, that IS old.  Why am I here? Because I'm part of blogging group. What's a blog? Well, THAT is a lot of future that I don't have the time or energy to get into right this second. Anyway, I have been prompted to write a letter to my 14-year-old self who is just about start high school.  And that, my dear, is YOU. By the way, you are looking super cute with your grown out perm and NKOTB t-shirt. You should probably wear it on the first day of school. I know you already have an outfit picked out. That sweater...yeah, I know...it's really pretty. Don't wear it on the first day. The first day of school is going to be SUPER HOT. Septembers in general are going to be getting hotter as the years go by. You are going to sweat your ass off if you wear th...

  Good morning, my beautiful beloved sunflower. Every morning, for over ten years, I would get this text message. Good morning, my super awesome BFF would be my reply. Ours was an unlikely friendship. We met at work sometime around 2010. Depending on the day, he could be dressed like a hippie, a biker, or a cowboy.  I always knew when he was in a good mood because he'd be in tie dye from head to toe. He loved old cars, old movies, old music. He LOVED Dave Matthews Band and watching old episodes of "Dukes of Hazzard" on VHS.  I do not like any of these things. We didn't always see eye-to-eye and, on paper, it shouldn't have worked but, we quickly became the best of friends. Aside from my husband, this man was my biggest champion. He always had words of encouragement or a verbal kick in the ass if I needed it.  He brought flowers to my nursing school graduation....stood for hours in the pouring rain trying to fix my car.... was willing to let all six of us come live...

I don’t enjoy summer. There are the usual reasons–the heat, the humidity, the bugs…did I mention the heat and humidity? I’m not a fun in the sun kind of gal. I’m more into rain and gloom with a side of coffee and books. More importantly, however, summer marks my son’s “cancer-versary.” August 11, 2020. “It will all be outpatient.” “He’ll just come in for chemo and go right home.” “Leukemia is one of the ‘better’ cancers to have.” “There won’t be any significant changes to your life.” “Most children go into remission after their first round of chemo.” Three years we’ve been living this life and none of that has been true. If there was a complication to be had. He has had it. Side effects, illness, infections, stays in the PICU, hospital stays that lasted weeks...hospital stays that lasted for months. He lost the ability to stand and walk. He uses a wheelchair. We lived at Ronald McDonald house, separated from our other children, for almost a year while we searched for a place to live th...